Kissinger jokes

Henry Kissinger's work has many examples of what decent people would find enormous inversions of justice. Like, for example, that he was given the Nobel Peace Prize for bringing an end to the Vietnam war, when he was in actuality responsible for things like the massive bombing of Cambodia as part of that war. Giving him the Nobel was appropriately labeled 'the death of satire' when it happened.

Chomsky is not usually given to humor, and one of the few examples I've seen is in relation to Kissinger, whose guts he really hates.  Debunking one of Kissinger's arguments where he says that that Western civilisation has a culture of 'toleration' (never mind a couple of World Wars and decades of colonial cruelty), Chomsky comments with an undertone of frustration and bitterness: "One can always count on K for some comic relief, though in reality, he is not alone" ( http://www.iran-bulletin.org/history/chomsky3.html)

And finally one from that fantastic commentator on US political affairs, Gary Trudeau author of the Doonesbury cartoons. In a series of strips, Kissinger is visiting faculty at a Washington DC university and leading a course while doing his stuff as Secretary of State. While he tries to use the seminar to talk about realpolitik and world domination and such, there are one or two idealists in the class who keep bringing up useless questions about truth, justice and the suffering of the common man. Finally Kissinger in frustration bursts out "Human rights! Human rights! I'm sick and tired of human rights!"

Touche. Sometimes I feel a similiar sentiment : "Climate change! Climate change! I'm sick and tired of climate change!"

For perhaps a more rounded portrayal of Kissinger, see the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Kissinger

Quote from "Catcher in the Rye"

J.D. Salinger also passed away yesterday. Here are two quotes from Catcher in the Rye:

"She was a pain in the ass but she was very good-looking" (from my memory)

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

More nice quotes: http://www.quotegarden.com/bk-cr.html

Book review - "Five and Twenty Tales of the Genie"

Penguin Classics has a really innovative marketing program to encourage interest in its books. It sends free books from its range to interested readers who are then asked to review the book and they blog it at www.blogapenguinclassic.co.uk  . Read an explanation of their concept here: http://www.nmaawards.co.uk/2008winners.aspx (click on  "Entertainment: Blog a Penguin Classic")  I stumbled across this on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/penguindia , and they did send me a book to read and review. I just did the review (was not as difficult as I expected), and sent it to them (haven't heard back yet) and here it is:
Update: The "Blog a Classic" program seems to have been discontinued and the link above is no longer working


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Penguin Classic's "Five and Twenty Tales of the Genie (Vetaalapanchavinsati)" by Sivadasa, translated from the Sanskrit and with an introduction by Chandra Rajan is an interesting and educative read. Penguin is to be commended for imaginatively adding value in the design of this book, starting from an excellent translator, to an exhaustive and learned introduction by the same translator and an appendix containing 'bonus' stories.

Many of us (Indians) will have been exposed to these stories in one form or the other earlier. They are alternatively known to us as the tales of King Vikram and the vetaal (betaal). I read these stories (actually not these stories but other stories in the same format!) as part of the "New Tales  of King Vikram and the Vampire" series of the Chandamama magazine, and many others of my generation will fondly remember this. Chandamama did a good job with those stories with questions and answers that honestly probed moral and ethical issues as well as encouraged reasoned thinking, a salutary experience probably for a young mind.

The construct, for those not in the know is as follows: as a consequence of of string of events, King Vikramaditya is set the task of bringing down a corpse hanging from a tree in a cemetery. The corpse is possessed by a genie which then tells King Vikram a story. At the end of the story a question pertinent to the story is asked by the genie. If the king answers the question correctly the corpse/genie flies back to the tree and the cycle starts again (if the king knows the answer but remains silent he will die -- but the reader never gets to know if this is an empty threat as this option is never exercised by the king). "Now tell me O King.." is the genie's inevitable refrain at the end of each story. In this fashion the genie tells 24 stories, asks 24 questions and gets the right answer. The 25th time,  something different happens and leads to the resolution of the story.
The structure then, provides an opportunity for good storytelling, the potential of which is fully realized. The crown jewel in each story of course is the Q&A at the end. We are keen to challenge ourselves to answer the question too and see how we fare in comparison to the king.

To a modern reader the stories are amusingly long-winded and digressive. A conversation in the story will normally include a half-a-dozen poems and asides expounding on all manner of topics breathtakingly irrelevant. If we turn things around, perhaps it would seem to those ancients who wrote like this, that modern's mans mind is boringly obsessed with sticking to the point and getting on with the story. In today's world, therefore, it takes a certain kind of mood to sit back, relax and appreciate the storyteller's efforts. But if one does, the rewards are there. There are thoughtprovoking discussions of human nature that resonate even today. This is also an authentic peep back into time to see how Indians of a bygone age lived. I found the actual stories inconsistent in quality but uniformly interesting. The Q&A at the end is also varied, sometimes the question is thought-provoking and the answer is insightful and satisfying, sometimes not so much.

The substantial introductory notes by Chandra Rajan are quite an impressive piece of scholarship. Chandra Rajan obviously cares a great deal (sometimes it seems, too much) about her subject and more generally, ancient Indian literature. This is shown in her dedication of the book to Vyaasa, Vaamiki and Vishnu Sharma, "the three greatest storytellers of all times". She throws much light and useful context on the stories and the King Vikramaditya of history.

"Five and Twenty Tales of the Genie" is a set of stories within a 'framing' story. In fact some of the stories contain a further level of story within. This technique of stories within stories is seen very often in Indian literature (including the Ramayana, Mahabharata and Panchatantra), resulting in massive story 'complexes'. The translator also introduces us to the idea of recensions which are different versions of a story or story complex that arise in the course of oral transmission. The bonus stories alluded to  in my first paragraph are stories from a different recension of this book, by Jambalabhatta.

The poetry forms a central part of the enjoyment of this book, so I will excerpt a few here.
Central to the framing story is the attempt by the villain to gain 8 great Siddhas or powers:

To be minute as an atom, or enormous as a mountain,
light as air or heavy as rock; to be invisible at will,
to have all  one's desires fulfilled, to subject others to one's will;
and have lordship of the world.

King Vikramaditya's actions are defended through the following statement of ethics:

Pay a man back in his own coin;
do harm unto him who has done harm to you;
I see no harm in that;
adopt foul means towards an evil man.

Sivadasa makes the following claim for the book:

A simple and straightforward narrative
pleases some learned readers;
some, wiser, delight in the figurative -
irony, ambiguity, metaphors,
while others love a tale filled with flavors
of fine sentiments plentiful and pleasing.
So there's something here to please every palate.

As Rajan says, it is not an unjustified claim by the author of the vetaala tales.

The book is quite frank about sexuality:

Ha! For the enjoyment of a woman!
What can give greater pleasure in this world!
No, not even the Elixir of Life!
All senses, altogether, all at once,
find in it their perfect fulfilment!

At least one tale is disconcerting in its emphatic position that
women are inferior to men:

Woman, and she alone deserves censure
here in this world of ours; not men, never,
for men are directed to, and instructed
in matters of good and evil.

Here is Sivadasa on secrecy:

Even if it be a trifling matter,
if to rulers of the earth it relates,
it should not be uttered, said Brhaspati,
in the open assembly.

Magic spells, medicines, matters of sex,
good works, cracks and flaws in one's house and home;
forbidden foods, slander, vital secrets:
a shrewd man does not broadcast these to the world.

Heard by six ears, a secret breaks;
heard by four ears, it stays secure;
and not even the Creator himself
can get to the bottom of a secret
that is heard by two ears alone.

Climbing right up to the top of a hill,
going in secret to an open terrace;
in deep woods or in some spot desolate:
in such places is a secret disclosed.

An interesting aside from the translator is regarding her choice of the word 'genie' to translate 'vetaala'. She gives a nice description of the word 'vetaala' and explains why she rejected various English words for its translation (including 'vampire' which was often used in the past) in favour of 'genie.

A lot more could be written about the book, but let me stop here in the hope that I have accurately described the book and given some people reason to make a note to read it. This is a book that will not appeal to all. I had mixed feelings about it. But it justifies its selection as a Penguin Classic.

<<Forwarded by Ajit Rao>>

 

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune -

23rd June, 2008 - By Chetan Bhagat

 

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak

to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college,

leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to

become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few

days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is

one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in

your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers

be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious

about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel

truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark

shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the

time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year

old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make

them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A

story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for

birthday party ? several months in advance ? just for the day they will

cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see

older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the

spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,

aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs

the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to

save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -

to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard

against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and

achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible

for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay

package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material

landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money

constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big

achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr.

Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and

not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better

iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do

it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes

them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting

better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can

improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you

will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get

better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you

can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we

were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of

nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't

just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced,

successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced

means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good

order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.

There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not

enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon

or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those

races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon

kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first.

Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your

striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you

may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited

and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.

One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One

student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga

practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote

has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my

relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my

writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.

If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I

live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary

here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are

lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500

weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few

classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not

programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it

too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four

storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These

must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,

unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected

return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is

extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What

did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You

will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine

publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low

grades ? how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.

But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease

to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that

means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever

been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially

relevant in India . >From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,

sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right

goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought

they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five

years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns

your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person.

How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved ?

movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly,

seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result ?

at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan ? I had

my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable

distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome

it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign

somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how

our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces,

pedigree find it easier to make it ? not just in Bollywood, but

everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few

opportunities in India , so many stars need to be aligned for you to make

it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in

the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately

things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than

you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand

this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian

standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to

accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other

writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise.

It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I

think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill

your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you

grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all

kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you

still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize

you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel,

may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create

conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop

some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing

basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up

something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But

in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love

yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,

frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like

the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just

need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the lost wonderful years of your life. If someone

gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But

I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same

way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only

through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not

just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really

need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool

about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.