Sunday, May 31, 2009

A progression of baby names

I started off Noam (after Noam Chomsky) and a feminine version of it Naomi. I don't think that stands a strong chance :-). After that I found that of the standard Indian names I tended to like the short simple ones - Radha , Meera , Chitra (We don't know the sex of the baby yet, btw) . My wife complains that she wants a modern name not old-fashioned ones like this. Its monsoon time now, so I considered Varsha or Megha (especially if the rain gods didn't bother us on the way to the hospital for delivery). The wife has been playing it low-key probably because she is waiting to get the first syllable from the religious practice, which I am opposed to.  
Two strong candidates are Vibha and Vibhat. Why? Because they are a combination of mine and Priya's names!
 
Suggest your favorite baby name and the best one gets a prize.
 
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It is getting pretty close to delivery time. A few niggling health problems are a source of concern but not unduly so. I am having a hard time disengaging my mind from work and focussing on preparing for the arrival. The baby finally turned head down, perhaps as a result of visualization exercises mentioned earlier !

Friday, May 29, 2009

<<Forwarded by Ajit Rao>>
 

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune -

23rd June, 2008 - By Chetan Bhagat

 

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak

to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college,

leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to

become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few

days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is

one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in

your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers

be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious

about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel

truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark

shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the

time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year

old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make

them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A

story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for

birthday party ? several months in advance ? just for the day they will

cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see

older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the

spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,

aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs

the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to

save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -

to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard

against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and

achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible

for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay

package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material

landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money

constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big

achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr.

Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and

not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better

iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do

it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes

them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting

better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can

improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you

will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get

better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you

can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we

were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of

nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't

just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced,

successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced

means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good

order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.

There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not

enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon

or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those

races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon

kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first.

Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your

striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you

may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited

and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.

One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One

student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga

practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote

has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my

relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my

writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.

If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I

live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary

here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are

lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500

weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few

classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not

programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it

too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four

storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These

must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,

unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected

return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is

extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What

did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You

will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine

publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low

grades ? how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.

But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease

to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that

means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever

been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially

relevant in India . >From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,

sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right

goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought

they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five

years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns

your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person.

How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved ?

movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly,

seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result ?

at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan ? I had

my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable

distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome

it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign

somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how

our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces,

pedigree find it easier to make it ? not just in Bollywood, but

everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few

opportunities in India , so many stars need to be aligned for you to make

it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in

the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately

things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than

you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand

this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian

standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to

accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other

writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise.

It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I

think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill

your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you

grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all

kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you

still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize

you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel,

may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create

conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop

some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing

basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up

something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But

in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love

yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,

frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like

the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just

need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the lost wonderful years of your life. If someone

gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But

I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same

way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only

through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not

just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really

need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool

about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

 

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

This weekend I re-looked at my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
 The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a tool to help you understand your personality type.  At a Juniper manager training we went through a MBTI type identification exercise and I found it pretty useful. 

  Very crudely MBTI consists of 4 types of 'being'

1.)   Where people prefer to focus their attention and get energy:
   Extroversion (symbol E, from external objects and people) Introversion (symbol I, from their own mental space)

2.)   The way they prefer to take in information
   Sensing (symbol S) , Intuition (symbol N)  
 
3.)  The way they prefer to make decisions
   Thinking (T)  or Feeling (F)

4.)   How they prefer to orient themselves to the external world 
   Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) 

There are more detailed descriptions of what each of the above mean.

There are a series of questions you answer and they help to identify your type on each of the indicators and then arrive at a composite type (for eg Intuition - Sensing - Thinking - Perceiving, ISTP) of which they are 16. The model has an extensive description of the broad traits of each type. At the training there was also a discussion on how these type behaviours and how they manifest in the workplace and how people of different types work together well (or not). I think this exercise is of particular value to people to remind them that their worldview is not universal, and particularly that there is an entire personality model built around various ways of being and that ones own way of being is just one type, and is no more valid or correct than others. 
The value of this personality typing exercise I personally found included:

 -- to revisit the fact that I feel inadequate about several things ; this exercise suggests that you feel comfortable in your natural strengths and build on them.
 -- placing your own abilities and weaknesses in a broader framework like this means that you can then see the really irritating things that others do within the same framework and see that  the other person is not objectively wrong in behaving a certain way. 

  There's probably lots of material on the web about MBTI, and I would encourage you to find out more. But the real value would come from doing it with an expert who would put you through the questions to find out your type and the discussion that follows. 

   Personally I had a fair bit of trouble in fully identifying my type. I identified it as INFP (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving). I had a lot of ambiguity between Feeling and Thinking. I think it comes out of preparing intensively for the IIT entrance and then doing engineering, where the whole atmosphere is logical and fact-based and feeling plays no role. Also the model points out that there are different degrees to which people are able to clearly identify their type and less-clarified type may be due to lack of freedom to explore or suppression in childhood etc. I think a lot of Indians would exhibit this kind of thing, since  a lot of Indians (especially poorer people) would grow up in a situation that precludes freedom and exploration and development.

Some links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator - MBTI on Wikipedia
http://www.myersbriggs.org/ Myers-Briggs Foundation
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html Some more introductory material

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Kid update and on visualization

 
The due date for the baby is 20th June. The baby is not yet in a head-down position. The following surprising exercise was suggested by the pregnancy guidebook that we bought: do a daily 10 minute visualization where you visualize the baby moving into the correct head-down position. The guidebook was written by a panel of physicians (UK or US based I'm not sure) and most of the info is completely factual and scientific. So I was quite surprised to see this. I have a feeling there would have been a bit of heated debate around it. The exercise was accompanied by a statement that a particular Dr had seen 89% success in the baby moving around to the correct position on using this exercise. I guess that is their way of saying 'caveat emptor' . 
 
More generally in several self-help and other such systems, visualizing good things is a recommended technique. I try it now and then (when it occurs to me!). I do think its a useful thing, though (like meditation) most of the time my mind drifts away too soon. The interesting thing for me about it is as follows: most of the time I'm quite pessimistic about things and prepared for the worst and so on. So its a striking change instead to imagine the best or imagine fantastic things happening. This is not related to whether they will happen or not -- it is just that it is such a different feeling imaging outrageously good outcomes, rather than being guarded. It seems quite plausible that that kind of change in thinking and feeling will trigger changes in behavior and outlook that create the positive outcomes. But it seems to be a good exercise just for the change in mental state, irrespective of the outcome.   

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Siddhu

It was done by photography not animation.  According to the artist: "Took a total of 256 photos and time-lapse'd them! Took solid 4 hours for a 50 second split!"

Pixar's Luxo!
Originally uploaded by !**sid-art**!

Creativity explosion

Siddhu is in overdrive

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Friend roundup



Arvind and Nandita in Tokyo and visiting Mt. Fuji
http://picasaweb.google.com/goestoinfinity/NanditaTokyo?
and some more:
PS: Privacy issues? Let me know and I'll remove the photo...

Siddhu celebrates Mothers' Day:

Zenrainman laments the lamentable hacking down of Bangalore's beloved trees:

From a Water Portal event this weekend