A 'taking stock' post has been long overdue.
I've been going through a small down period.
Regarding what I've been doing at Timbaktu, there are things that I am happy about and other things less so. I have enjoyed doing stuff there a lot, I have learnt a lot, and I have met and interacted and become friends with some really cool people. What I've done for them has not been that great but its certainly helped them and they have been very appreciative. Its fulfilled the long hankering I've had to work with an NGO. However I've not engaged deeply enough with them, since I don't stay there or work full-time. I've told them that I would like to finish the 'engagement' in December. Right now there is a big messy project that I've taken to update their website and another pending small project to do a small Access database for them that has been causing me inordinate problems (if somebody knows Access well, and wants to help out with this one -- very welcome).
There were times when doing NGO work seriously full-time seemed like a very attractive option. But that option has really not come together to be a serious possibility at this point.
The chief purpose of the trip to Hyderabad was to talk to somebody about a work opportunity that came up unexpectedly in... biodiesel. There's lots and lots of stuff that I could talk about biodiesel, its something that I've been following for a while now. However I'll leave it for now with just a website that gives an excellent introduction to the topic: www.treeoilsindia.com. The opportunity has lots of positive and negative things about it and its weighing on my mind quite heavily.
Besides that, there is a small opportunity (more about it later) to give some training sessions for graduating students at an engineering college (what the real world is like kind of thing), which is something that is close to my heart. If I was really keen I could perhaps expand that into a job, or find something else along those lines.
Other than that -- lots of things have been going through my mind but without much direction and resolution. 6-odd months off from work is a long time and twinges of guilt for not doing a 'real' job are becoming more frequent. Also some kind of dissastifaction with the kind of opportunities that are coming up as they are not the 'perfect' opportunity. That I think is something that can be dealt with -- if I do commit to something and go with it, managing the shortcomings is more doable, then when one is in an uncommitted state. Especially when I'm in Bangalore, I tend to slip into a 'lassitude' state.
There are some long pending things that I'm glad to be resolving. The driver's license was a big deal, and right now, I'm in the process getting some stuff done regarding the flat that we bought (a 'khata transfer') that also has been long pending. When I went to Hyd, I did some stuff regarding the lost registration for my car, but that is proving to be a harder nut to crack.
The blog(s) has also reached a level of staticity. Partly because of the above broodings, I haven't been blogging that much. Blog traffic has also levelled off, and ad clicks is down to zero :-). So some ambivalence on that front too.
So that's where things are at. Comments are very welcome.
2 comments:
"Besides that, there is a small opportunity (more about it later) to give some training sessions for graduating students at an engineering college (what the real world is like kind of thing), which is something that is close to my heart."
I hope you stumble onto something like this because I think you will love it. And I hope they pay reasonably well. (forin-returned and all)
"Other than that -- lots of things have been going through my mind but without much direction and resolution. 6-odd months off from work is a long time and twinges of guilt for not doing a 'real' job are becoming more frequent. "
I can definitely relate to that. I had a lot of such guilty feelings during the time I was sitting at home and preparing for the board exams. You have to firmly believe that you have taken this time off for very specific reasons - some of which being - you wanted to catch up on long overdue things such as traveling, exploring other oppt etc. You more than deserve the time off, this is only a temporary phase. You may not have the luxury of taking this time off again, so use it to its best advantage (although that can be hard when there is no rigorous schedule)
Also some kind of dissastifaction with the kind of opportunities that are coming up as they are not the 'perfect' opportunity.
I don't know if you would ever find that perfect job you are looking for. Even what you think is the most perfect job will have its shortcomings.
Just a random thought. The more I thought about things, tried to rationalize why I'm doing what I'm doing, analyse life, the more confused I became. When I stopped all of that, and just kind of lived life instinctively, the more clear things seemed to become. This may sound extremely cliche'd but I actually experienced this myself. Life cannot be rationalized, it just has to be lived.
"The blog(s) has also reached a level of staticity. Partly because of the above broodings, I haven't been blogging that much. Blog traffic has also levelled off, and ad clicks is down to zero :-). So some ambivalence on that front too."
I thought I solved that problem about adclicks for you :-). Keep on blogging ...
Yes, lets see how the training thing goes.
One of the things I realized about myself is that I want to do everything -- I want to follow all my interests, go back to software and join a startup, go do biodiesel, do training, join an NGO.
I like your comments (from experience) about guilt feelings of taking time off.
About the 'perfect' opportunity -- when (if!) I finally choose something to do long term, I expect the frustration about not having the perfect opportunity will go away. Its until then while I'm still looking for something that things pinch.
Yeah, getting greedy about ad money, want my cake and eat it too (and waiting for your check ;-) ). Google doesn't pay any money at all until you reach x amount, so since I'm around x/2, I'm trying to get the x also :-)
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