A gamut of emotions and directions have been happening as I disengage from work and look to what I will do going forward.
There are a few things that hit me now and then with a painful intensity -- stuff that I have wanted to do for a long time and have not done and now I want to fulfil that desire. Travel, playing games like squash/tennis are examples. There is a sense of freedom, from the forthcoming stepping off the conveyor belt and a chance to think and do other things. I find my mind wandering, intensively following up some idea until I can reach some kind of rationalization or understanding about it, and whether it has any relevance to me. For eg. at various points in the last few weeks I spent a few (or more) hours thinking fairly obsessively about things ranging from:
- hunger. Not in a conceptual way but just how it might be ended in India and what are the issues around there. There is a lot of stuff on the web that I brooded about for a while like writings by Jean Dreze and Amartya Sen, the public distribution system in India, the Right to Food coalition. You can google any of these.
- this blog. Its becoming somewhat painful at the moment as I keep thinking of whatever I do and whether its bloggable, and how to increase site traffic and make money from the ads. Currently it seems that practically I can make at most $10/- a month from the ads, which is a letdown :-). Oh well. If I can make enough to cover my broadband cost perhaps that's a nice target to aim for. On that note I spent some time looking up 'click fraud' which is worth a small blog entry at some point perhaps. Basically the whole internet ad system could be resting on fairly shaky foundations since its so easy to do a 'fake' click on an ad ie. somebody clicking with some specific agenda in mind (eg. to make money on their own site) rather than out of a genuine interest to see what's the ad about.
-- other moneymaking ideas. To my own surprise I find that my mind is veering more towards money-making schemes than to service ideas which was what the 'sabbatical' was about in the first place. I dunno what to do about it :-), except follow it through and see where it takes me. I won't judge myself as money-minded or a hypocrite quite yet :-)
-- work has been predictably pretty hard, but one soldiers on with the guilty knowledge that one is not going to be there to face any consequences anyway.
Enough navel gazing.
4 comments:
Thanks for the comment, keep writing :-). I definitely won't stop blogging, the original intention was to do it just for the fun and creativity of it, and the ad madness came later. I'm just curious to see how much I can make (currently $1.11 :-)).
I am indeed telling people about it, but don't want to be too brazen about it :-)
Ok bye
Dude:
Keep this going.
As you blog more often the blog is going to represent a more detailed and perhaps more accurate view of you. So this is naturally going to not be as pleasant as doing it less frequently when you could filter the image of yourself that you wanted to share.
I have a decent idea of what kind of attitudes you will come to accept regarding money. But I will not bias the direction one way or the other by telling you anything more.
Arvind
Arvind
Leps (aka Arvind),
To correct your comment a lil bit -- the 'view' of me that emerges is a result of putting myself in a new situation ie. where I don't have restrictions on what I am going to do, so I can be free to pursue what I 'really' want to, without constraints. To me, the thoughts and ideas that come and go are like the layers of an onion and like I said, I'm just watching to see where its going. I suppose a perceptive person would know where this would end up, but its somewhat irritating to be told in advance that the destination is pre-determined. Let us see !
Anyway -- your job at this point is to go off and scour bookshops. So get cracking ! I've not done any research regarding the shipping side of things so far and customs etc.
-- Vijay
pals,
it is finally done.
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